2. Talk to them when you're calm
It's really easy to have a row, shout at each other and make threats, but you won't get past how you're feeling if you're emotional. Get calm and talk through the issues. What's the problem? What do you want them to do? What do they need from you?
"I thought I was being very clear about what I saw were the problems - why does he get so stoned all the time?"
3. Avoid asking 'Why?'
Why? Because it puts people on the defensive. And, they might not know why they do five pills, have risky sex and owe the dealer money they haven't got. Ask questions beginning How, When, What, Where. It'll get the conversation moving and you won't simply get a Yes or No answer.
4. Focus on them not the drugs
The drug isn't doing anything to you. They are. How does their behaviours affect you? Are they unreliable? Is it their mood swings? Are you always paying for everything? What are the good/bad things that can happen if they continue doing what they're doing? And how does that create problems for you?
"He would say that he had it under control, that it wasn't a problem and then walk away."
5. Stick by them
Don't turn your back on them. Listen to them and how they say they feel. Talk to them about their health and wellbeing. Suggest what they might do but don't go on about it. If they want, offer to go with them if they go for help.